Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The most AMAZING woman ever! Part 2

Thanks for al the nice words about yesterdays post..
As I said at the end of yesterdays post below I have shared the her Eulogy 
Some things may not make since today, as some comments were directly pointed to friends at the service.

From the funeral service Saturday, December 11, 2004

Thank you all so much for you calls and your kind words about my mother.Words cannot express the appreciation of my fathers and I.

My mom cherished her friendships with every one of you. She would love to be though those doors in a little bit sitting around tables sharing stories and telling jokes to whom ever she could get to listen. I am so glad that cancer never robed her of her since of humor. Just hours before she passed she was sitting on the edge of her bed smiling and joking with my father giving him a hard time.

She was always quick with a joke, most of the time they were pretty good, but she had her share of bad ones. The worst I’ll share with you. When she would tell this joke I would get so embarrassed because I just hated it, because it was…. Well, you’ll see. The joke goes 

A string walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender looks at the string and says,
“I’m sorry, we don’t serve strings in here.”
A moment passes and the string says,
“Boy I could should sure use a drink down here bartender, how bout it?”
The bartender replies,
“I told you, we don’t serve strings in here! You need to leave.”
The strings walks outside, waits a little while and then wraps himself into a
Knot and untwists the top of his yarn head and then walks back into the bar,
Hops up on a stool and orders a drink……
The bartender says, “Hey aren’t you that string? I’m telling you for the last         
time we don’t serve strings in here!”
The string looks at him as says.
“Shows what you know, I am not a string.”
The bartender is now very angry and responds.
The string pauses and replies.
“Sorry, I’m afraid not.”  (Frayed knot)  

I can remember that joke being told many times at our kitchen table to one of my friends with me begging and pleading for her not to tell it.

Every few days she would share another little gem like that with my dad and I at the kitchen table. Often times I think she would get a bigger kick out of telling the joke than dad and I ever got out of hearing it…. Some times she would get so tickled thinking about telling the joke… she couldn’t actually tell the joke.

Mom could really laugh and she did it well. In fact next to being my mother, that’s what she may have done best. Bud Ratliff, you could get her tickled quicker that anybody, Her and that toothy grin, mom could smile with just her eyes. You can see that in her photos. …… God,  we loved her so much….. I am sure so, did many of you.

She was often the peacekeeper in the house; A father and a son will have rather loud disagreements from time to time… And for my father and I that would happen, far to often. She would tell me “We gotta get along, were all each others got…..”

Dad once told me “The two greatest women EVER were his mother and my mother….” I know someday I’ll have a son, and I will tell him the same thing.

That brings me to all the emotions I have right now, sadness, anger, love, peace, confusion, and others I don’t even know how to explain.

I am sad that she will never know my unborn children, from a yet to be found wife….
Those children will never know how cool their Grandma was, or to hear the stories she told, that I am so afraid I’ll forget.

I am confused as to why God would want to take her from us and why would he use cancer to do it?

Anger, Yes anger… I am angry with God for actually taking her away……..I ask a long time friend of my moms who is closer to God than I, if its ok to be mad at God?

He smiled and ask me if I think God every gets mad at us? Then we both smiled, he told me children will get mad at parents and parents will get mad at children. It doesn’t mean one doesn’t sill love the other! I understand its alright to be upset with god for this.. that he loves my mother, me and all of you. Thank you Archie for those few moments that have impacted me profoundly

Speaking of God and love, Brooks  (my nephew) I never remember mom ever being prouder of someone that she was of you… When you were about four years old, you, your parents and Grandma Jo were at the little church where we attended on a Sunday when I didn’t go. At the end of the service the pastor ask if any one wanted to say anything… Mom told the story that you stood right up on seat of the pew and raised your little hand. Now understand mom was petrified at what you might say….
The pastor ask what did you have to say?  You proudly proclaimed, “I love the Lord.”
The pastor was somewhat taken-back ask the congregation who was it that a child could say something that a grown man couldn’t.

I know mom must have told that story at least 50 times to anyone and everyone who would listen for at least the next six months. Breanne she loved you to and had you been born first I would have told the same story about you.

That little church on Ivy Lane holds a lot of great memories for mom and I.  One we talked about not long ago was when we forgot to adjust our clocks and showed up a hour early….. No one was there so we just sat on the steps and talked, now neither one of us could remember anything we talked about but you can bet it was something silly and that we had fun.

Marie, “sweet little Marie” as my mother would say, she loved you and Jim so much. It means so much to have you and Danny here today. She always said that no one could preach like her Pop’s but that jim came real close. Even though she had lost her Pops long before that, Jim made her feel close to him.

Mom I know you’re here with us right now in this room, not the casket, but in the heart of every person in this room. You’re the person holding me up so I don’t fall or falter just like you have for thirty plus years. I know you loved me and you’re proud of me and if I did not say it enough on Jordan Rd. You’re the best mommy I could have ever ask for.

Thank you for putting off the inevitable until dad and I could both be there. I’ve told close friends that you looked scared at the end. I now know it wasn’t a scared look….. you were in Awe….. I choose to believe that while your body was still here on earth your soul was already in heaven. That you were starring in awe of its beauty and amazement.

I know you’ve already found you mom and pop and tell Babe (her brother) not to worry I'll try not to lose his baby spoon. I know you’ll find Grandma and Grandpa Mears and tell them how proud they can be of their son for taking such good care of you. Fred Fisher wanted me to tell you to find his granddaughter Alisha, he’s sure the to of you will be big friends.

Mom, you always told me I could be anything I wanted to be.

You always told me that people could take away everything you every have but the one thing no one can ever take away from you is your MIND. While I have so many material things to remember you by I will cherish so many memories much, much more.

To all of you who have came, called, and sent sympathy cards. It means so much that you care but don’t for one second feel sorry for us, dad and I were blessed to have her this long and to tell her how much we loved her. SOME of you may not be that lucky. Please don’t wait, don’t take for granted that person,  that you will have another chance to tell them you love them.

There is someone here that has someone they are putting off telling “I love you” to, and telling them how much they mean to you. Please don’t wait another day, call them when the service is over, go and see them tonight. Everyone asks us what he or she can do for us or if we need anything. All I ask is this….. Tell that person how much they mean to you.

It seems a shame to have to have a death to bring everyone together, that we never have time or make time for what is important. Until its to late.

Thank you all for loving my mother, if I can love someone half as much as she loved us I think I will have a pretty full life. 

Thank you for reading 

1 comment:

  1. Kevin all your emotions are normal. I lost my mom in 2003 at the age of 53 to stomach cancer. Her battle was a short 4 mnths. I took think of all the things she is missing and would have loved. I have come to the conclusion that there is no logical reason for who God chooses to take, only that he wants the best. I too have felt each and every emotion you are feeling. I hope you find your peace with your feelings and with God. Gary Allens song says it best. "Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride."
    Take Care!